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Title
A day in my life
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
3 pages
Text (O)
A DAY IN MY LIFE Awakened by the brilliance of 6:00AM lights, I arise, grab my toiletries and walk down the long, stale white corridor toward the restroom. First, I must wade through a bevy of inmates blocking my path while vehemently discussing lat night's televised basketball game. These men do so without any consideration for those still trying to sleep or pass through. I step across the threshold and into a room with two rows of sinks where all sorts of men — white, black, Mexican, t...
PID
apw:12353162
Date Uploaded
2018-09-26T10:57:52.741Z
Title
Alone
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
2 pages
Text (O)
ALONE Alas, I am alone and destined to remain so. No longer can the burning, innate longing for love, companionship and re-affirmation of my worth reverberate inside my heart and mind. Is this due to years apart from others? Or is it because of my transgressions that I am left with no choice but to accept the exile society will impose that separates me even from those who ODCG felt affection from and for me? Once thrust back into the world from which I am now ten years removed, it would be fo...
PID
apw:12356135
Date Uploaded
2019-05-23T19:24:33.952Z
Title
Anger
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2018-01-28
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
Anger Anger for me is unachievable. I am though certainly no pacifist. I don't spurn anger, hostility, or even vindictiveness. Such feelings are simply beyond my reach. Some would regard me as fortunate; say the world would benefit from more like me;‘ or argue that anger holds no value. Such sentiment alas is naive, even risible. There are man like m self. Peo le for whom roactive emotions are lost to a resolve of ho elessness where resorts to _ P gestures preclude the inducement of ange...
PID
apw:12352774
Date Uploaded
2018-06-16T02:33:45.465Z
Title
Anxiety
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2018
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
ANXIETY Like a leaking cistern, anxiety,slowly bleeds all semblance of life from one'sA A being. As soon as a rare detente is reached, another anguishing tempest appears .atop life's mountains of Volatile, tormenting emotions pressing everything below until the-cavity of one's heart is breached further, causing one's will to demit faster, more excruciatingly that before. Eventually, anxiety morphs into a depressed emptiness offering only a teasing, hollow eye in a storm th...
PID
apw:12352669
Date Uploaded
2018-06-15T21:38:32.89Z
Title
Cold days in purgatory
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
COLD DAYS IN PURGATORY BY B.C. Murray The divergent distractions that exists inside a prison compound are often enough to hoard away feelings of hopelessness and despair. Nothing though is cogent enough to overcome the morose feelings to which every prisoner eventually succumbs. As hard as one may try; loneliness, despair, insufficiency, and shame supercede all other emotions regardless of efforts to the contrary. Just as on the outside, the weather dictates emotions. When cold, wintry, days ...
PID
apw:12352662
Date Uploaded
2018-06-15T21:38:26.465Z
Title
Confusion
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2018-02-06
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
Confusion Would life be worth living without confusion? What purpose would then require our rising from bed each day? Or maneuvering for legions of hours along life's jagged pathways? lf content, then what would be our impetus for confronting, waging war with all that perplexes, and even exhilarates us? Our hubris endeavors to put confusion to rest once and for all. We pray to awake without ambiguities, issues to confront and coerced into contesting. The child naively relishes adulthood&...
PID
apw:12352776
Date Uploaded
2018-06-16T02:33:47.132Z
Title
Fences
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2018
Pages
2 pages
Text (O)
FENCES Fences: Society's artisan of salvation and refuge. Fences prohibit interruptions and distractions for those seeking freedom, fecundity. Their impregnable strands of wire offer sanctuary from the unholy, impure, and all that impugns thoughts and actions of those protected therein. Fences provide unfettered isolation adn disincentive to venture beyond civilization's Cloister of all deemed favorable and championed. Consequently, from across the divide, fences spawn a flourishing...
PID
apw:12352726
Date Uploaded
2018-06-16T02:32:46.195Z
Title
Insight into my future
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
2 pages
Text (O)
INSIGHT INTO MY FUTURE My detainment behind these federal prison fences is coming to an end. After nearly ten years I am finally able to foresee a life elsewhere that heretofore was seemingly a fantasy never to come true. Certainly, I knew I would eventually leave. Comprehending such a stupendous transition was simply impossible to grasp. After evading calendars and annual celebrations for years, I find myself reaching the point to where days not years stand between my freedom and me. As I me...
PID
apw:12356114
Date Uploaded
2019-05-23T19:23:58.71Z
Title
Matt
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
6 pages
Text (O)
Matt One doesn't meet friends in prison. Or so I was told just like the others residing inside this lethargic purlieu. As one of those who only experience thoughts of regret, survival, and uncertainty, I felt friendship was an impossibility. Something I neither deserved or should dare contemplate. For my life on earth, I felt, was essentially over, whether anyone else realized this actuality or not. Since arriving in 2010, my course never deviated from one filled with despair and hopeles...
PID
apw:12357996
Date Uploaded
2019-10-28T20:39:56.014Z
Title
Numbness is all I desire
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2017-06-05
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
Numbness is all I desire. is that too much for a man to ask? To be comfortably numb just like the Pink Floyd song says. One would think that after seven years, almost eight, I would have reached an emotional plateau that provides some semblance of sequestration from the insatiable madness of my environs. Regardless of the amount of prayer and other efforts, such a reprieve never arrives. Maybe my parents and teachers did a better job of indoctrinating me than family, ex—family and others (inc...
PID
apw:12352664
Date Uploaded
2018-06-15T21:38:27.828Z
Title
Out of control
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
2 pages
Text (TR)
OUT OF CONTROL Due to incompetence, indifference and outright bias; graft and corruption run amok at FCC-Forrest City-Low. Meanwhile inmates who wish to obey the policies and rules and staff who want to simply do there jobs and go home are made to suffer. On Friday, September 29, 2017, an African-American corrections officer (CO) physically attacked a white inmate who never instigated a confrontation or tried to respond. Staff at the prison wasted no time trying to sweep this incident under t...
PID
apw:12352846
Date Uploaded
2018-06-16T02:35:17.241Z
Title
Prison's most contented
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
2018
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
Prison's Most Contented While most inmates on a prison compound struggle with low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, it is awe-inspiring how contented openly gay men appear. In an environment presumed to be unembracing and even hazardous, gay inmates quietly, calmly and religiously coalesce and develop circles composed entirely of self-satisfied, even merry men. While other inmates appear angry, melancholy and lonely, gay inmates - for whatever reason - project unburdened persona compl...
PID
apw:12352956
Date Uploaded
2018-09-25T19:49:18.822Z
Title
Prison's most contented
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
1905-07-10
Pages
1 page
Text (TR_WF)
Prison's Most Contented While most inmates on a prison compound struggle with low self-esteem, depression and anxiety, it is awe-inspiring how contented openly gay men appear. In an environment presumed to be unembracing and even hazardous, gay inmates quietly, calmly and religiously coalesce and develop circles composed entirely of self-satisfied, even merry men. While other inmates appear angry, melancholy and lonely, gay inmates - for whatever reason - project unburdened persona compl...
PID
apw:12354670
Date Uploaded
2019-01-16T16:06:04.397Z
Title
The depths of my own inferno
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
1905-07-10
Pages
9 pages
Text (O)
THE DEPTHS OF MY OWN INFERNO I lost my freedom long before coming to prison. Although it took actually coming here to realize it. Otherwise, I would have continued to languish in an eddy of perpetual confusion, self- doubt, and self—loathing about the unknown; past, present, and future. No hell is greater than not understanding one's self. No physical or emotional pain comes close. For a Type A individual whose sole desire is to control every aspect of my destiny, the unknowing- especial...
PID
apw:12355307
Date Uploaded
2019-01-21T19:53:41.31Z
Title
The hope of an aging man
Author
Murray, B.C.
Date
1905-07-10
Pages
3 pages
Text (O)
THE HOPE OF AN AGING MAN It is official: I look like my grandfather. A long, vehement stare at my fifty-eight year old reflection confirms it. I am no longer the young, hubristic, overambitious sen1 who was never intimidated or apprehensive about life's omnipresent challenges. Life's wear and tear is inescapable. My upper lip that once eloquently moved to form patterns of speech and a seemingly ‘ever-present smile has shriveled like a once inflated balloon that now appears flaccid, ...
PID
apw:12354848
Date Uploaded
2019-01-16T18:29:25.588Z
Title
Who benefits from prison?
Author
Murray, B.C.
Pages
1 page
Text (O)
WHO BENEFITS FROM PRISON? Why would anyone want. to work in a men's prison? Who rises each morning anxious to enter a desolate world void of any responsibility greater than turning a key? Or enjoy monitoring the physical movements of grown men who themselves are offered little incentive to develop and enrich their own lives in such a stale environment? Prisoners are, of course, without a choice. Prison workers though choose such a profession. But why? is it for money? Many less—than-desi...
PID
apw:12352958
Date Uploaded
2018-09-25T19:49:20.192Z